Uncle Ned

English

Noun

Uncle Ned (plural Uncle Neds)

1. (Cockney rhyming slang) bed.
   • 1958, Harold Elvin, A Cockney in Moscow, page 42:

     Went in a room, not much furniture: still no bloody light; sat down on a Uncle Ned an' waited while ol' woofy said she'd make some Rosie Lee.

   • 1982, Jack S. Scott, An Uprush of Mayhem, page 105:

     "Cool it, cool it." Leonara cut in. "Nobody's blaming you, Charlie. You did right, shoving him back in his uncle. Cocked it all up a bit, though, ain't it?' Uncle. Uncle Ned.

   • 2006, William Whitson, Test of Battle, page 176:

     Oi fink your Uncle Ned's all 'arbour. Oi'll wait for hinstrooctions after you and the Major stump the chalk.

   • 2013, Chris Sharp, War Games in an Urban Village: A Personal Account of Boyhood:

     "Well," she replied, "when yer gets up from yer Uncle Ned and yer wants ter get away from the Trouble an' Strife, yer'd go dahn the Frog and Toad to meet yer China Plates at the Rubba-Dub-Dub!"

   • 2019, Wendy Cheyne, From the Auld Rock to a Hard Place, page 151:

     'Oh yes, up the apples and pears to Uncle Ned, that's me,' Freda said.

   Get up them apples and pears and into Uncle Ned!

2. (Can we verify⁽⁺⁾ this sense?) (Cockney rhyming slang) head.

   Use your Uncle Ned!

   • 1950, Naomi Jacob, Me--looking Back, page 202:

     Get yer barf towel— always supposin' as yer've gotter barf towel— fold it rhand the jug, an' rhand yer uncle Ned [head] , stick yer mouth over the jug where all the steam's rushin ' art — yer are listening , aren't yer?— and ignore it.

   • 1977, Names - Volumes 25-26, page 130:

     Bill: Me Uncle Ned. Omnes: Uncle Ned? Bill: O, me head — the empty part of me.

   • 2020, Ian Slater, World in Flames:

     "The Beacons?" a cockney voice shouted. “You're off your Uncle Ned.”