Let's see. Durbin apologized last week for his obvious hyperbole, although he and other critics are spot on about the human rights violations coming out of Gitmo and its tarnished reputation around the world. But his Republican foes labeled it a "fauxpology." Just not good enough.
What satirist could then top Texas Republican Joe Barton's coerced, linguistically mangled fauxpology? "If anything I said this morning has been misconstrued to the opposite effect I want to apologize for that misconstrued misconstruction." Translation: It's your fault for hearing me right the first time.
The old “sorry if I upset you” route is the go-to tactic of politicians, celebrities, media corporations and spouses for a reason. It looks and smells like an apology, but acknowledges no wrongdoing. It’s a fauxpology.