Option B) "You know, I have a degree and I'm qualified to become a dean at a university. You know where I'd like to accept a position? A little school that thinks it's a cutting edge electronic campus. In a tiny mid-western town with a Wal-Mart to provide exciting night-life." Said no one ever.
2014, Cathy Adams, "A Bad Romance", Escapism, Issue 6, page 29:
In the halcyon pre-credit-crunch days of 2007, the obvious place to spend the most romantic day of the Gregorian calendar was in Europe's weirdest capital – said no one, ever.
"As we all know, there's not a single color out there I can't showcase, but that said, I have to agree with you, dear, Smoldering Blaze may well be the best."
"Said no one ever," Rose Winters groused from her spot in the center of the group.
I'm sorry but "I got a Brazilian wax because it was a pleasant and enjoyable experience" and "I love the searing pain of having my underarm hairs ripped out" said no-one. Ever.
2015, Olivia Siciliano, "Need More Sleep?", The Stratford Oracle (Stratford High School, Houston, Texas), Volume 42, Issue 7, 27 February 2015, page 6: