Noun: "(slang, sometimes derogatory) an LGBT+ person with a gentle, sensitive, openly emotional disposition, particularly when cultivated as an insincere or self-serving affectation"
2016, Anna Pulley, The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!), page 9 (approx.):
Like haiku and poetry in general, lesbians (and bisexuals, trans folk, queers, genderqueers, tenderqueers, heteroflexibles, and all womyn-loving wimmin) are frequently misunderstood.
2016, "Contributor Bios", The Peak (University of Guelph), Spring 2016, page 36:
[…] a non-binary tenderqueer superqueero cat-lady magic-making weirdo.
Carrying your comfort with you is protection for the sweetly sensitive bull. You're a tenderqueer of few words, and you always make them count.
2017, "Eat Ur Whiny Heart Out: resources for u tenderqueers", Whiny Femmes, Summer 2017, page 71
2017, Lal Zimman, "Variability in /s/ among transgender speakers: Evidence for a socially grounded account of gender and sibilants", Linguistics, Volume 55, Issue 5, page 1012:
Though clearly masculine in presentation, Pol is also soft-spoken, gentle, kind, and on occasion describes himself as tenderqueer – a semi-tongue-in-cheek term used in some genderqueer communities to indicate a sensitive disposition.
2017, Lindsay Nixon, "Fallon Simard – Monetized, But Agential, Bodies in Ghost Worlds", Esse, Number 91, Fall 2017, page 70:
Sad Boi extraordinaire, reproductive justice fighter and unabashed tenderqueer—Fallon Simard is a rare voice within Indigenous art.
2020, Marty Fink, Forget Burial: HIV Kinship, Disability, and Queer/Trans Narratives of Care, unnumbered page:
In a post dated December 13, 2013, she writes, “If you prioritize education and being able to speak a certain kind of social-work-y, tenderqueer vernacular, you will get providers who can provide services for white, FAAB [female assigned at birth], transmasculine people. […]
Tenderqueers are especially adept at using the watery language of therapy as a means to get out of most things. They’ll ghost you for three weeks then, when you call them out on it, will reply something like, “Your negative energy is affecting my ability to heal from past life trauma.”
2020, "Queer community outraged that Gladys Berejiklian has been straight this whole time" (satirical article), Honi Soit (University of Sydney), Week 8, Semester 2 (2020), page 23:
"I am deeply sorry to the people of NSW, but in particular the tenderqueers, the hunties and my drag sistas, who believed in me."
2021, Jacoby Ballard, A Queer Dharma: Yoga and Meditations for Liberation, page 5:
This is for the apolitical tenderqueer, inviting you out of your shell and validating your vulnerability.
2021, "Nerd Teacher", "Silos for Children: Where Do Kids Belong?", Nerd Teacher, January 2021, page 1:
Others decided to engage in a form of dog-piling and harassment aimed at the teenager. Some sent the teenager, who is Jewish, anti-Semitic messages through their Curious Cat. Others engaged in queermisic jokes, referring to them as a “‘tenderqueers.” (Note: This particular piece of vocabulary is a play on “genderqueer” and has a queerphobic history and downplays what could be better termed “toxic softness” that white supremacy often weaponises in order to deflect responsibility for negative actions or criticism of bigotry.)