because you touch yourself at night

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Phrase

because you touch yourself at night

1. (vulgar, humorous) Used to deflect a request for a reason.
   • 2000, Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman, Family Guy (TV series), "Wasted Talent":

     Young Peter: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?

     Museum Guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

   • 2003 Mar. 1, Rev Bleech_, "Fox" in alt.tv.futurama:

     >I'm sure I will sound like a giant newbie(because I am), but why does Fox
     >hate futurama so much?
     
     Because you touch yourself at night.

   • 2019, Demons Rising (paperback), Dutch Van Alstin

     [Tophat asks with a smirk,] "Why did you name him Xavier Ignacious?"
     "Because you touch yourself at night, asshole," Solomon says.